DXM

8:45-Ingested 15 15mg DXM capsules.

8:57-Ingest three more 15 mg capsules

9:03-Ingest two more capsules, 20 total

9:13-Cleaning room, don’t really think I am feeling anything yet

9:19-Still cleaning room, not really feeling anything

9:24-I think I am starting to feel a relaxed body high, and aural perception seems to be altered

9:28-Slight nausea

9:35-Slight nausea, laying down, feeling lazy and tired

9:45-Spacing out a little on the computer

9:52-I think I might be feeling effects but they are too subtle, may just be placebo, ingest three more capsules

10:00-Ingest two more capsules, 25 total now (375 mg). Erowid says that this is under the “strong dose” category, so I hope that I start to actually feel strong effects.

10:05-Decide to start spinning on my turntables

10:09-Ingest three more capsules, spinning more on the turntables, 420 mg total ingested

10:24-Feeling a little light-headed, really getting into the music

10:26-Forgot I just wrote the entry for 10:24, definitely feeling something

10:31-Getting extremely into the music, can’t help dancing

10:37-Feeling awesome, really euphoric, music sounds incredible

10:45-Nausea, but I feel awesome

10:49-Full body and head high, feel awesome

10:58-Full body and head high still going, I feel amazing, really want to talk to people. The music I am listening to sounds amazing. Everything feels good. I would almost compare this to rolling, except it is definitely a little different, more weird and less speedy.

11:01-Extreme nausea, feel like I might puke, very intense

11:05-I just went to bathroom because I thought I was going to puke, but I didn’t. Now I am laying down because the nausea got very intense.

11:10-Still intense nausea, talking to people on the computer and laying down still.

11:24-The nausea is intense, but I have a full body and head high going. I almost feel like I am floating or something, and I feel VERY disoriented. I am talking like mad to people on the internet. Music is crazy and I can’t see straight.

11:37-It’s like I have tunnel vision and I cannot focus on anything. The feelings are really intense. Physical sensations are enhanced. This is like being drunk but so much more. Holy shit.

11:41-Messaging lots of people on facebook. Very sociable, wish someone was here with me. Music is crazy. Everything is crazy.

12:01-Just got off the phone, had an awesome conversation with two of my friends. Everything feels good, hard to type, wish other people were here. Talking online more.

12:04-everythign seems to be like skipping around and spinning, everything feels WICKED weird, touch feels awesome, typing is hard

12:25-The trip is crazy. Ccan’t see straight. Feel hot. Talking to tons of people on faceboook.

NOTE: At this point I completely lost control and stopped writing updates into the computer, as I could not focus AT ALL. I was talking to some people on the internet though, and that helps me keep track of what was happening. At 12:27 a friend sent me a youtube video that was a still picture with a song playing, and I told him I thought the picture was moving. At 12:32 I told one of my friends, “dude I am like going crosseyed. This is crazy.” My vision at that point was completely messed up and I was seeing two of everything. I also remember there were a few times when I would feel an itch on my body, and scratch it furiously. I could not tell my own strength and could not feel pain so this scared me a little, as I didn’t want to tear my own skin. At 12:43 I told the same friend from before, “fucking a I just threw up this is fucked.” I do remember right before I threw up I got a very intense feeling throughout my whole body and head and felt like I was just going to lose control. I think this was definitely like the “snapping” point where I went from being somewhat coherent to completely grounded in another world. I remember laying down trying to relax, but the feeling got more intense. My mind was almost telling me to stop and be normal again; resisting the snap, but it was not strong enough. This was definitely a very foreign and scary feeling. Then I remember throwing up all over my rug and myself and not knowing what to do or what was going on. At this point I didn’t even really feel like I was alive in the old sense of the word anymore.

I remember at first I didn’t really know what had happened, and I lay confused in my own vomit. I looked in the mirror and saw myself, vomit all over my face and on my shirt. I did not feel grossed out, simply confused as hell. I reminded myself of a zombie from a zombie movie, with human waste trickling down my chin. I took my shirt off and went to the bathroom. Walking was EXTREMELY difficult. I remember that I had a ridiculous, alert expression when I looked into the mirror at myself. I somehow managed to clean up much of the vomit on my rug, but this was a VERY difficult task in my state of mind.

I then sat on my floor staring at everything around me. Everything was swirling around, and when I looked at the computer screen, I could not make out what was on it. My vision was blurred and could be described as tunnel vision. All objects around me seemed to be moving at 90 miles an hour. I remember having a feeling like there was something I wanted to do or something bad that I needed to sort out, but I couldn’t make it out. Almost like when you are trying to remember a word but can’t remember it. The feeling was like that but much more intense.

I sat on my floor, utterly confused, trying to figure out what I was going to do. I had never been that confused in my life. I then called my friends from before. My friend Brad was just leaving his girlfriend’s house, and he said he’d call me when he got home. Then I tried calling two other friends but both of their phones were off. I then called my friend Sprinkles and talked to her, and she was incredibly calming to me. I was not having a bad time, but a difficult one, and it was very nice to have someone to talk to. I remember that speech was incredibly difficult and it sounded very robotic. For some reason I was talking really slow in some weird kind of accent and I could not control it. The whole world was spinning around me as I talked on the phone. I kept saying, “this is very strange, very strange…” in this weird, slowed-down voice. My friend Brad ended up calling me back so I told Sprinkles I would call her back. I talked to him and then he said he could do a three-way call so then it was me, Brad, and Sprinkles on the phone. We had a very interesting and intense conversation. I felt very warmed by their voices and I kept expressing my love for both of them. At one point Sprinkles told me to think about how nothing existed at one point in time, no Earth and no human-beings. This thought really freaked me out and I almost felt like I was in that void of nothingness, my only connection to this world was the phone I was talking to my friends on. I remember telling my two friends that I was not on Earth and that I was in another dimension, which is a crazy thing to say. After a bit Sprinkles had to go so Brad and I talked until about 2:45, and we had a VERY interesting and deep conversation. Brad had done huge doses of DXM multiple times before so he really knew what I was experiencing. I remember one thing he said to me was that I was in a hole, and when he said this, it clicked and I happily admitted it. Instead of being scared, I was proud to have gone down the rabbit hole, and I was ready to take on anything. After Brad had to go I tried cleaning my vomit a little more, and went to the bathroom, which was very weird. I tried brushing my teeth and I could barely do it, it felt very strange and ridiculous. I then went back into my room and turned all the lights off, ready to sleep. I lay in a sort of half awake, half asleep state for a while, and got some real sleep for a couple hours.

Looking back now, the morning after, the DXM trip is very difficult to explain. At first I really did think that it sort of resembled a combination of being on ketamine and rolling on MDMA, or an enhanced state of alcohol-induced drunkness, but when I hit the peak all resemblances were certainly shattered. I think once I hit the peak though the trip did share many similarities with a piperazine trip. Both have the feeling of tripping without any concrete visuals, both made walking difficult, both made me very confused, and both were very overwhelming. I do definitely think that I enjoyed the DXM a lot more, however, and there were way worse negative effects on the piperazines.

This morning I still feel a little weird, it is 11:34, but my thought process has been restored. Looking back, I definitely want to try DXM again, with another person.